Chapter 11

In the morning, everyone else was awake before me. Peyr woke me, and we went out to get washed.

“How did you sleep?”

“Not very well. How about you?”

“Okay. Don’t worry about Aila – she’s fine. Like Berraami said, she’s a tough cookie. She’ll be looking forward to you coming – and hoping every day that it’s the day you’ll arrive. Not long now!”

“I hope you’re right!”

“I’m sure I am.”

After breakfast, the expanding plough pushed through to Berraami’s train without problems. They opened the front again, took Berraami’s little plough off, and coupled up. Pulling Berraami’s loaded train was no problem for five engines, either. “I thought we wouldn’t need all five,” Graamon said, “but better to have them and not need them, than to find we had to go back for more.”

Back at Tambuk there was a fairly simple shuffle to get the two trains in shape, then Medaal set off for Briggi towing Berraami’s train with the first new plough on the back. The rest of us had an early lunch at Tambuk before we set off for Kaahes.

Berraami came with us, even though her train was going to Briggi. “Until I’m back in Briggi, someone else will have to take the trains south. Nobody will mind getting out of Briggi sooner while there’s a risk of getting stuck there, and it’ll be days before we’re operating a normal schedule anyway.”

At Kaahes, we found one of the Laars just arriving from the south with a short train. He was very pleased to see us coming through, and laughed at the number of engines. We told him we’d had five as far as Tambuk, and he laughed again – until we told him about the plough getting stuck, even with five engines behind it.

Peyr asked him if he had any news about Aila, but he said he didn’t know anything. I saw Berraami catch Peyr’s eye. She took him on one side. Then Peyr was nodding, apparently agreeing with something she’d said.

There was a bigger shuffle to get the trains sorted out this time, and then Laar’s train with the expanding plough and all the engines except Jinni’s headed back towards Tambuk. Jinni, Berraami, Graamon and I headed south.

Baamoon went back with Peyr. “I’ll come down with Peyr. An extra half day isn’t going to make any difference.” He doesn’t want to be in too crowded a cab, that’s why.

As soon as we were under way, Berraami told me what she’d been saying to Peyr. “Don’t ask the drivers about Aila. They’ll wonder what’s up. She only told me and Mum. She won’t want everyone to know. Obviously you and Peyr and Graamon needed to know, and I’m perfectly certain she won’t mind Jinni knowing, but otherwise keep it quiet.”

“Yes, of course.”

“If anyone does know anything, I’m sure they’ll volunteer it without having to be asked. I think Jerem must have survived, or the news would be everywhere by now. Well, everywhere south of the snow, anyway. Unless his parents are keeping quiet, of course, which from what I hear about them isn’t beyond the realms of possibility.”

We stopped that night at Belgaam. I was a little apprehensive about the two girls there, but Jinni and Berraami understood the situation very well without anybody saying anything. They sat one each side of me all evening, which was wonderfully effective.

I slept better that night. I had nightmares, but only woke up a couple of times. Once, Jinni and Berraami were up and talking; the other time the two Belgaam girls were. I could just hear the murmur of their voices, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying at all, not a single word.

It’s quite the normal thing to do here, it seems. I suppose it’s something to do with all sleeping in the same room like this. One’s aware when others are awake, and you can’t talk lying where you are without disturbing others. What a different world from England – but I like it. But of course it’s not like this everywhere – not at Viina’s, anyway.

One of the two girls cornered me coming back from getting washed in the morning. Damn! I should have waited for Graamon!

“You’re quite the one!” she said. “You know that Jinni and Berraami are both attached, don’t you?”

“Yes, I know that. I know both their boyfriends, too.” This wasn’t quite true – I knew about them, and I’d met one of them briefly.

“I like your new outfit. Quite a change from the first time we met! You’ve certainly moved up in the world quickly.”

“I suppose I have. I’ve never thought about how long it normally takes.”

“It doesn’t normally happen at all. Most people don’t move up in the world, they stay where they are. Do you like me, or Biishi?”

Bloody hell! Talk about direct!

“I like you both, you’re both lovely. I didn’t know her name before, and I don’t know yours now. But you know I’m attached, don’t you?”

Two can play direct.

“I’m Maashi. People think we’re twins, but we’re not even sisters, we’re double cousins. My Dad’s her Mum’s big brother, and my Mum’s her Dad’s little sister.” She looked crestfallen, and I felt terrible.

Better to know now, Maashi, than to stay hopeful now and find out later, I thought, but I still felt terrible. “We’d better get inside. It’s cold out here.”

We met Graamon coming out as we went in. He looked a bit surprised, but I gave him a grin which I hoped said all was well.

Jinni and Berraami sat one each side of me again at breakfast. Biishi and Maashi were as attentive, to everyone, as ever – seemingly more so than the previous evening, or when Jinni and I had stopped for dinner on the way north.

I wonder how long they’ll take to latch onto somebody else? Is there anyone else to latch onto? Is there something wrong with Diraan? He seems like a good chap, but they don’t seem interested in him at all. Not that I’m a good judge of a man’s marriage-worthiness – especially here, where I don’t really understand the culture very well yet.

Latch onto? That’s a mean thought.

I’m not sure how else to think of it, though.

After breakfast, Berraami headed back north with Diraan. Jinni, Graamon and I headed south.

I’m going to see Aila soon! I was half excited, and half a bit nervous.

We were pretty much on time coming into Laanoha at ten o’clock that evening. It was strange not to have to hide under the floor as we approached the city. The guards barely even glanced at my papers. My clothes seemed to tell them I was Railway, with a capital R. Perhaps if I hadn’t been with Graamon they’d have been more diligent – anyone could get clothes like these made, I suppose. Maybe not all that easily, but surely possible.

Graamon and I stayed on the engine all the way into the yard. Jinni was welcomed like a conquering hero. “So! You’ve made it at last! Who was stuck? How long were they stuck for?”

“Medaal was stuck for a few hours. We got through to him from Briggi with Graamon’s new plough and four engines. Berraami was stuck for a day and a half before the Tambuk men got through to her with shovels. Luckily she was within whistling distance of Tambuk, so they started as soon as she got stuck. We tried to get through all the way with Graamon’s new plough, but the plough got stuck, and we had to leave it and go back to Briggi while we still could.”

Jinni knew how desperate I was to see Aila, and we didn’t hang around at the yard any longer than we had to. Jinni headed for Parruk’s place.

Graamon and I made very good time walking up to the room. We knew no-one knew we were on the way, so we weren’t surprised that all was quiet as we climbed the stairs in the pitch dark. “You go in first, Owen. They’re probably all asleep, but they’ll be so pleased to see you!”

I opened the door quietly and crept in. They were indeed all asleep. In the flickering light of a low fire I could see my way just well enough to go to the shelves and get a taper to light the oil lamps. Grim stirred as I tiptoed past his feet. He leapt up. “Owen! And Graamon! You’ve made it!”

Two more bodies stirred and sat up. Not three. Who’s missing?

It was Yaani and Yaana. There was no sign of Aila.

“Where’s Aila?” I’d said it before I’d thought whether I should or not.

Grim had both lanterns alight before I’d got anywhere. There were tears in his eyes. I looked at Yaani and Yaana, and there were tears in their eyes, too. What’s wrong? It’s not tears of joy, I can tell by their faces. “We don’t know. You must have seen Berraami, so you know what happened?”

“Yes. Berraami said Aila was coming here.”

“She did come here. Get them some skiir, Grim. And sit down, all of you. I’ll get some food going. She stayed three days, but then she went, and we don’t know where to. She left you a letter. Here it is.”

Oh God. Where is she? What is she doing? I hope she’s okay. My world was falling apart. The letter. Read the letter.

It was a single sheet of paper, folded in four and stuck together along two edges with wax. I carefully tore off the waxed edges and opened it up. This is what she’d written, in a childish print:

Owen my love,

Berraami must have told you what happened by now. If I can’t even look after my little Owen properly, how can I possibly look after my big Owen? I will love you forever, but I can’t marry you. You must find somebody else who will look after you better. All my love, Aila. Oh, and Birgom wants to talk to you.

Birgom wants to talk to me? I did want to talk to Birgom, but I want Aila! What does anything or anybody else matter if I’ve lost my Aila? Will Yaana know what to do? Do they know what Aila’s written? Should I show them?

They can’t read. I’ll have to read it to them. Should I show Graamon? Should I get him to read it to them?

No. It’s my job. Should Grim hear it, or should I keep quiet until a better opportunity?

Yaana didn’t let me worry about that. “What does she say?”

I started to read it aloud, but after a couple of words my voice wouldn’t work. Graamon put his hand on my arm and I looked round at him. “Shall I read it for you?”

I nodded, and he took the letter, and read it out. His voice was shaking, too.

I had my voice back. “What should I do?”

Yaana looked at me with big tearful eyes. “What can you do? What can anyone do?”

Graamon had a different question. “What do you want to do?”

That was easier to answer. “Well, obviously I want to find her, and tell her not to be silly. Just because some stupid boy tries to spoil things doesn’t mean she can’t look after me perfectly well. Hell, I’d have a hard time finding anyone who can look after me better than that. How many young women could have fought him off like that?”

Wanting to find her and being able to find her might be very different, of course. Does she want to be found, or does she really mean it’s over for good? How can I tell? Does anyone know? How can I ask them?

Graamon had much the same thoughts. “That’s the spirit! Finding her might be harder than saying it, especially if she doesn’t want to be found. Persuading her to change her mind may not be easy, either. I’m sure she knows in her head that you’re still her man and she’s still your woman, but it’s one thing to know something in your head, it’s quite another what you feel.”

Yaana was looking more hopeful. “It’s not just that a girl who’s had her little man smashed feels useless, it’s how the boy feels, too. You’re different – you’re angry with Jerem, not with Aila, and if you manage to find her she’ll know that, without you even having to say. If she even hears that you’re seriously trying to find her, she’ll know it. It still won’t be easy for her. It’s one thing to know something in your head, it’s quite another what you feel.”

“Will I be able to persuade her, do you think?”

Yaani was thoughtful. “If anyone could, you can, Owen. But how on earth will you find her? She could be anywhere. There are a million pebbles on the hill.”

Graamon was thoughtful, too. “There’s one question that’s not easy to ask, but it has to be asked. Does anyone know how Jerem is? Be that as it may, how are his family reacting?”

“That’s easy to answer. Gamaara’s sister Mashaari came here the day Aila went missing. It’s a pity she didn’t come sooner, but she didn’t hear the story for a couple of days, and then she had to find out where we lived. Jerem’s survived, but he won’t try to rape anyone ever again. She smashed his knees so thoroughly he’ll be on crutches for the rest of his life if he can ever walk again at all, and serve him right. He’s not right in the head, either – never was, really, from what I’ve heard, but he can’t even talk straight any more. But the family are very good, they’re not angry with Aila at all. Mashaari was all apologies and wanting to know what they could do to help.”

Yaani had made a huge omelette with about twenty auk eggs and some onions. We ate in silence, all of us deep in thought.

How on earth do I even begin to look for her? Will she still be in Laanoha, or will she have gone to Meyroha, or Barioha, or somewhere else entirely? How will she be living? Will she have found another nannying job somewhere? How will I live while I’m looking for her? If I give up my job to go looking, will I have to give up my railway papers? Will anyone be able to help me? Or at least give me some idea of where and how to look?

Graamon realized I’d be having some of those thoughts. “Don’t worry about your job, Owen. It’ll still be there for you when you’ve found Aila. In fact, you won’t stop being a railway man for a moment. Your papers are valid for life – once a railway man, always a railway man, even after you retire. Nobody will ask where you are, that’s entirely my business. You’re my assistant. You won’t stop thinking about railway matters anyway – or research institute matters, and that’s just as important to me really. Get a notebook and pencils at the railway office tomorrow, then you can take notes of whatever you’ve been thinking about. But don’t worry about it. Worry about finding Aila. And don’t worry about money, either. You’re a railway man. Any major business will bill the railway for whatever you need, and you can pick up your weekly coins for little things at any railway office, or even have an advance if you need one.”

“I don’t even know where the railway offices are. There isn’t one in Briggi, is there?”

“Oh, goodness, that’s something I should have explained before. The Railwayyard inn is the railway office in Briggi. I can get coins there when I need them, but I don’t often because everyone in Briggi just bills the railway anyway. The inn at Belgaam is a railway office, too. Here in Laanoha we’ve got our own office in the guards’ building at the docks, just beside the line that runs down to the dockside. You know where it is, don’t you, Grim? Could you show him tomorrow? I really ought to go and make my presence felt in Meyroha. The yard here seems to be on top of things very nicely. I’ll catch the first Meyroha train in the morning. I’ll keep in touch here through Peyr or any of the drivers so you can catch my tail when you’re ready, Owen, or any time you need me. I’ll be back here in about a week’s time, most probably. The best way to learn where the offices are in Barioha and Meyroha would be to get Peyr to introduce you to one of the mainline drivers, and get them to show you.”

Grim wanted to know when his Dad was coming.

“He’s expected first train tomorrow – he was going to be the next one after us. So about three tomorrow afternoon.”

“Couldn’t he show Owen the offices? I really ought to be at work tomorrow.”

Yaana said that there were times when she really wished she had papers. “I know my way down to the guards’ office at the docks, but I don’t know the way from there on, I’ve never been. I couldn’t go if I did know the way. I’m pretty sure Owen already knows the way that far.”

I did. I realized for the first time that Yaana could only get in and out of Laanoha the same way I used to, under the cab floor. What a way to treat an old lady. I wonder how often she does that, whether she’s done it in recent years at all?

Yaani had a solution. “You take him to the railway yard, Mum. He could probably find his own way there, but better if you take him and help him find Judd’s hidey hole. Judd’ll take him down to the offices. It’ll be better Judd taking him than Grim, anyway. And he doesn’t want to have to wait for Peyr.”

“Does Judd know Aila’s missing?”

“How could he not? He’s been helping us out a lot, with Peyr away. It’s Judd who’s been bringing us all these auk eggs, and Peyr’s coins. It’d be difficult for us without him, he’s a real friend.”

“How many people do know?”

“Not many. We didn’t want to tell people, they’d want to know the whole story, and that could make trouble for her, wherever she is. Jerem’s family wouldn’t like it much if the story was widely known, either, and they’ve got influence. But you have got one new clue that we didn’t have before. She must have been talking to Birgom, or she wouldn’t have mentioned him in your letter. That could even be a deliberate hint. She surely knows you’re the kind of man who might come looking for her, and maybe she wants you to, or isn’t sure whether she wants you to or not. You should go round to Birgom’s tomorrow, I reckon.”

“You should talk to Judd, too. He won’t have said anything to anybody, but he’ll be keeping his ear to the ground. He gets more opportunity to hear gossip than most of us do.”

Graamon excused himself, and headed off for his Laanoha lodgings to sort things out for the following day.

“We should all get some sleep. You’ve got a mountain to climb, Owen. Thank goodness you’ve got Graamon’s wholehearted backing, anyway. And thank goodness Aila’s got you!”

“She’s got me if I can find her. I wish I was more confident of that than I am. And none of this would have happened if it wasn’t for me, it’s all my fault.”

“No it’s not! If it hadn’t been you, it would have been someone else eventually, unless she stayed single forever. It’s not your fault at all, it’s entirely Jerem’s fault. We all know that – even Jerem’s family knows that for goodness sakes.”

It’s one thing to know something in your head, it’s quite another what you feel.

Grim found my hand as we lay there in the darkness, and held it tight. “You’re the best brother I could possibly have. You’ll find her. She needs you,” he whispered.

“I need her, too.”

I’d never seen Jerem, of course. But I knew that the man I saw in my dreams was Jerem, even though he was the Veglid innkeeper. He was stomping along on his crutches at an impossible speed, and I was desperately trying to keep ahead of him. Then I was lying on the bedding pile in the inn in Veglid, and I could hear him stomping about upstairs, the glimmer of his lantern flickering here and there through the cracks in the ceiling.

I knew I was searching for Aila, and I kept thinking I’d found her, but every time when I got close enough she was Maashi. Then she was hitting me over the head with a heavy wooden toy, and I was trying to tell her it was me, it was okay, but my voice wouldn’t come.

Grim was shaking me. “Are you okay? You were shouting!”

“Oh, goodness, I’m sorry. I was dreaming. I’m sorry, I must have woken all three of you.”

Yaani said, “Well, Gran’s still asleep, I think. Don’t worry, Owen, we understand. It’s a big worry for all of us, but it’s only just hit you.”

I didn’t manage to get back to sleep. I just lay there thinking, wondering how in the world one goes about searching for someone – preferably without telling too many people who or why. How long it would take, and how long I could really just go on being a railway man who wasn’t doing anything to do with the railway. Surely this could take months? Even years? I hope Birgom or Judd have some kind of clue to get me started.

Gradually the light coming in at the windows overpowered the flickering light of the remains of the fire. Yaana stirred and sat up. I propped myself up on one elbow. “I hope I didn’t wake you in the middle of the night,” I whispered.

“No, I sleep like old clothes. Peyr says he could drive an engine over me without waking me up. What were you doing?”

“I was shouting in my sleep, dreaming. I hope I don’t start doing that a lot, it could be a nuisance. Especially if I say anything I don’t want people to know.”

Grim snorted. I hadn’t realized he was awake. “There’s not many people around who know English. I assume that was English.”

So I don’t dream in Laana. Yet. I’ve caught myself thinking in Laana more and more lately. I hope I don’t start shouting in Laana in my sleep. I hope I don’t carry on shouting in my sleep at all.

Yaana got up and started building the fire up. Grim and I got up and went downstairs to get washed. We met Yaani on the stairs as we came back up. “You should have woken me up! It’s going to be a rush getting to work!”

“We only woke up a couple of moments ago ourselves, Mum.”

I’d actually been awake for hours, but I didn’t have a clue what the time was. How they knew, I didn’t know.

Grim and Yaani went off to work. Yaana and I set off for the railway yard.

“They don’t feel like going to work with Aila missing, but life has to go on. If Aila comes back, it’s no use to her if everything’s falling to bits back at home as well. Having you, with Graamon’s backing, to go looking for her is a miracle for us.”

“If I can find her. There’s a million pebbles on the hill. And I don’t even know which hill to search. She’d never have gone missing if it wasn’t for me.”

“There’s a million pebbles, but they’re all different. There’s only one Aila. Well, only one Riish Aila.”

That answers one of the questions I’ve never asked. “That’s something I was going to ask you about. How do family names work here? Are you and Yaani Riish, too?”

“Yes, of course we are. Ever since we married, both of us. And Aila will be – oh! I don’t know what your family name is!”

“That’s a long story. It’s Mezhab – now. It was Morley, back in England, but we changed it. Baamoon said it wasn’t a good idea to be called Mor Liiauen, and I rather agreed. In England I was Owen Morley, but that’s even more confusing here.”

It took Yaana a few moments to get her head round that, but not long. “Oh! I see. You put your names the wrong way round.”

There’s nothing wrong with the brains in this Riish family! And thank goodness for that.

“But you’re Mezhab Owen now. I like that. How did you choose Mezhab? Did you know it’s Birgom’s name – and Viilam’s?”

“Yes, that’s how I chose it. There’s something about Birgom, I felt it the once I met him. It’s not just that he knows English, I don’t think. And then Viilam was stuck in Briggi at the same time I was, so we asked him what he thought Birgom would think, and he said they’d both be pleased to have me in the family. I was touched. I hope Aila will be happy with it!”

“I’m sure she will. There’s something about Birgom, you’re right. And Aila’s always had a soft spot for him – maybe because he’s always had a soft spot for Aila, ever since she was a baby. I’ll take you up to Birgom’s place when you get back from the railway office. I’ll be back in the room, I’ll go straight back once you’re with Judd.”

But Judd wasn’t in his workshop, and we couldn’t see him working on any of the engines. “That’s odd. It’s not his day off.”

Yaana was about to ask one of the other workshopmen where he was, when Jinni appeared. “Jinni! You don’t know where Judd is, do you?”

“No. I was just coming to look for him myself. He wants to talk to me, Parruk told me. He must have popped out somewhere for some reason, I expect he’ll be back soon.”

“Actually, are you busy? You’ll do just as well as Judd anyway.” Yaana continued softly, “Could you take Owen down and show him where the railway office is? You know I can’t.”

“Of course, it’s no trouble. I’m sure whatever Judd wanted me for will wait.”

Then Yaana realized, “Of course! You only got here last night. It was your train Graamon and Owen were on. I expect you were at Parruk’s last night, I don’t suppose you saw your mother. I think we know what Judd wanted you for. You tell her on your way, Owen.”

Yaana headed out of the yard in the direction of home. Jinni and I met Judd coming in as we were going out of the other gate. “Oh! Are you just going somewhere? I wanted to talk to you, Jinni. Well, both of you really, but you’ll know the main thing now.”

“I’ve not told Jinni yet. We’ve only just bumped into each other.”

“Where are you headed? Should I come with you? There’s nothing much I’m needed for here just now, the others are doing your engine, Jinni.”

“I know, I saw. It needs it. Five weeks is a long time, and it’s not even been sitting idle. We’re just off to the office, to introduce Owen. He’s a proper Railway man now.”

“I can see that. Congratulations! I knew you would be, though. I’ll come with you.”

“Anyway, Owen, how’s Aila? She must be very pleased to see you.”

“That’s what I – we – have to tell you, Jinni. We don’t know where she is. She’s missing. She only stayed at home for three days, then just disappeared. She left me a letter.”

“Oh Owen! That’s terrible. What are you going to do? What did she say in the letter?”

“I was going to ask you that, too. Yaana showed me the letter, but obviously I didn’t want to open it, since it was addressed to you.”

“She said she can’t marry me – if she can’t even look after the little me, how can she look after the big me? She said she’ll love me forever, but that I must look for someone else who can look after me better.”

“Well, that is the tradition. The idea of the little people is that you have to look after them like you’d look after the big person. But I’d have thought Aila would be more independent minded than that.”

“It’s one thing to know something in your head, it’s quite another what you feel. So what are you going to do?”

“Try and find her, of course, and try to persuade her to change her mind. From what I’ve heard, she can look after me better than anyone else could. But whether she could or not, I love her, which is what really matters.”

“It is, it is. And she says she’ll love you forever, and I’m sure she means it, too. But where will she have gone to? Who knows?”

“I was hoping you two might have some ideas. I really don’t have much clue at all. The only thing I’ve got to go on at all is that she said Birgom wanted to talk to me. I knew Birgom wanted to talk to me anyway, and I wanted to talk to him, too – but Aila made a point of it at the end of her letter. She must have talked to him during the three days she was at home. I want to go round there today. Maybe he’ll have some ideas. I don’t know where he lives, but Yaana says she’ll take me round there when I get back from the office.”

“It’d be quicker if I take you straight there from the office, then I’ll go and let Yaana know what’s going on. We mustn’t forget that Peyr’s arriving this afternoon, and he won’t know what’s happened yet. It’d be good if you and I were at his place, or maybe at the railway yard to meet him.”

Judd thought it would be better if Jinni and I were at the room, and Judd met him at the railway yard. “I’ll tell him quietly on the way up.”

To get to the railway office, we had to go through the dockyard gate. The guard looked me up and down. “You’re a railway man? You’re new. Let’s see your papers.”

I got the distinct impression that he couldn’t read, but he knew what railway papers should look like. Mine clearly looked right. He didn’t even look at Jinni’s or Judd’s papers. They’re familiar faces.

In the railway office, Judd introduced me. “Maarim, this is Owen. He’s Graamon’s new assistant.” He turned to me. “Show Maarim your papers, Owen.”

“Mezhab Owen? You a relation of Viilam’s? I didn’t know he had any relatives other than his grandad.”

Graamon had prepared me for this. “No, it’s just a coincidence. I’m not from round here at all.”

Maarim laughed. “Nor is Viilam’s grandad, I don’t think! I don’t know where he is from though, and I don’t suppose it would mean much to me if I did. Are you from the same place?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know where he’s from.”

“I daresay you’ll be wanting your coins from me while you’re in Laanoha. How much do you get?”

What a difference from England. Here, he trusts me to tell him what my pay should be – he knows there’s no sense me lying, I’d get found out, and then not only would it get corrected, I’d get into trouble, too. In England, I’d have to manage without any money until the paperwork came through.

“Fifty a week.”

Maarim wrote it down in a big book he pulled out from a shelf under the desk. “You want some now?”

“Yes, please.”

More scribbling, and a handful of coins.

“Oh, and could I have a pocket notebook and a couple of pencils, too, please.”

Maarim went to a cupboard at the back of the office. “Have you got a sharpener?”

“Oh, no. That would be useful!”

The sharpener was a tiny pen-knife with a concave blade. So that’s what that pocket is for. It fitted perfectly, as did the notebook and pencils. A pocket for everything. I wonder what the others are for? No doubt I’ll find out eventually.

“Nice to meet you, anyway, Owen. You staying at the Railwayyard inn while you’re in Laanoha?”

“No, I’m staying with Peyr’s family. We’re old friends.”

“Oh, okay. I should give you another ten coins to give them, then. And don’t forget there’s meals and drinks for you at the Railwayyard inn whenever you want them.”

Maarim handed me another two five coin pieces. I suppose I’ll learn how all these things work in the end. Everything is so relaxed compared with England.

Umm. If you’ve got papers. Not so good if you haven’t, of course.

I thanked Maarim, and we left. Judd headed back to the railway yard, and Jinni led me through the back lanes to where Birgom lived, not far from where Aila had taken me down to the shore when we went out to the point. “I’ll just say hello, then I’ll leg it back to tell Yaana what’s going on.”

Birgom was visibly pleased to see me. “Come in, come in. You too, Jinni. I’ve skiir by the fire.”

“I can’t stay, Birgom, I’ve got to go and talk to Yaana. I just came to show Owen where you live.”

“Well, you come another time, when you can. I’d like to talk to you sometime, too!”

Birgom’s house was tiny. It had a single small room downstairs, with just enough headroom for Birgom to stand up. Birgom told me that upstairs was Viilam’s room, but I never saw it. Judging by what the house looked like from outside, if there was standing room upstairs at all, it was only right in the middle of the room.

But it was cosy in that downstairs room. Birgom sat me down in one of the two chairs by the fire, and lowered himself carefully into the other. Then he leant forward and poured two mugs of warm skiir.

“It’s been a long time. You must have been snowed in in Briggi. Viilam too, obviously.”

“How do you manage without Viilam?”

“Oh, I manage. I can get up to the market all right, and that’s the only thing I actually have to do. It’s nice when he can help me on stairs so I can go visiting, but I can live without. It’s nice when people visit me, too. I wish it was better business you were here for, but what happened, happened. You can’t change the past. How much do you know?”

“About Aila? I know about what Jerem did, and how Aila went north with Berraami and then back home with Faahiha, and was at home for three days and then went missing. That’s pretty much all I know.”

“Aila doesn’t know whether Jerem’s alive or dead, unless she’s found out since she went. And she doesn’t know his knees are smashed and that they’re saying she did it, either.”

“That’s something that puzzled me, too. Berraami said Aila had told her she’d hit him round the head with one of the children’s toys, a heavy one, and knocked him out and maybe killed him, but she didn’t mention smashing the knees. The first time I heard that was from Yaana, I think, or maybe Yaani, I don’t remember. Here, anyway.”

“They heard it from Mashaari, after Aila had left. Aila described the whole fight to me though, in detail. I’m perfectly certain she’d have told me if she’d broken his knees. I’ve not said anything to Yaani and Yaana, because it’d just make things worse for them, but you need to know – assuming you’re going to try to find Aila. I just know you are, you’re not tied by traditions you didn’t even grow up with. I was a bit surprised that Aila felt as bad as she seemed to, but it’s one thing to know something in your head, it’s quite another what you feel.”

“So who did smash Jerem’s knees? And why would Mashaari lie about it? Yaani says that the family aren’t blaming Aila at all.”

“I’m sure Mashaari believes what she said. Probably Gamaara believes it too. From what I hear, they’re both as straight as sunbeams. I’m pretty sure it must have been Jerem’s father who smashed his knees for him. That man is notorious for his temper, and he’d have been pretty angry with Jerem for messing with Aila. Then he wouldn’t want to admit that he’d done it, and it would be awfully convenient for him to say Aila had, with Jerem himself a gibbering idiot now anyway. But I think it’s true that no-one’s blaming Aila. Everyone says it was entirely self defence – although how you can bash someone that hard round the head and smash both their knees as well, all in self-defence, I’m not sure.”

“Everyone? I thought not many people knew at all.”

“Oh, I mean everyone who knows. It’s all been kept pretty quiet, yes. If it could be proved, I’d love to see Jerem’s father in boiling oil for what he did. I really am sure it must have been him. But for Aila’s sake I’d rather it was all kept as quiet as possible, and if that means letting him get away with it, so be it.”

“Do you have any idea where Aila might have got to? I’m really at a loss to know where to look.”

“I can imagine. I remember what it was like when I first arrived here myself. But yes, I’ve got some ideas about how you can start. But Aila won’t want you to look for her – or she’ll be in two minds about it, anyway. Even if she doesn’t want you to look for her, I’m pretty sure she’ll be glad that you did if you find her, although she might not realize it herself at first. It’s one of those ‘it’s one thing to know something in your head, it’s quite another what you feel’ things, I suspect – and I don’t even know which is which.”

‘I remember what it was like when I first arrived here myself.’ What is Birgom’s history? But I don’t want to ask him just now.

Birgom told me that Mashaari had offered to help find Aila another job as a nanny somewhere else. “But Aila doesn’t know about that, because she’d already gone before Mashaari came. Yaani and Yaana didn’t know she’d gone. She’d only been gone a few hours and they thought she’d be back soon. They hadn’t found the letter then, and anyway they didn’t know it was a letter for you until they showed it to Judd and he read your name on the outside.

“I don’t think Aila would want Mashaari’s help anyway. I think she’d trust Mashaari to be on her side, but she’d rather go somewhere where Jerem’s family wouldn’t know where she was. She presumably doesn’t know how disabled Jerem is, so she’d be worried about him finding her – and if she does somehow know the whole story, she’ll be worried about Jerem’s father. He wouldn’t do anything to her himself, but he’s a wealthy man. He can afford to pay someone else to do his dirty work for him.”

“So it’s not just me she’s run away from, then – it’s Jerem’s family, too, whatever they say about not blaming Aila.”

“Oh, I’m sure Jerem’s father doesn’t blame Aila either. But he might well be afraid of her telling people she never smashed Jerem’s legs. And she’ll realize that as soon as she knows his legs are smashed.”

“So he must be trying to keep Jerem’s smashed legs a secret, then. That’s surely his first line of defence.”

“Difficult for him, without telling his wife why, and he won’t want to do that. But he knows that none of the family will want to make too much noise about it, the whole story is quite embarrassing for them. But they can’t hide Jerem’s condition from other people in their social circle.”

I suddenly realized that we were talking Laana, although his English was much better than my Laana, and he’d seemed so keen to talk English with me before. I wondered why, but this wasn’t the time to talk about that.

“If I’ve got a chance of finding her, then surely Jerem’s father’s man will be able to find her more easily than I can. That’s a bit scary.”

“It is, a bit, but maybe not as scary as you think. For one thing, you’ll recognize her more easily. Jerem’s father would know her himself, of course, but anyone he hires will only have a description and a name.”

“I hadn’t thought about that. You think she’ll use a false name? What about her papers?”

“I’m sure she’ll use a false name. There are lots of people here without papers – Yaana, just for example. She talks like a local, nobody will ask any questions as long as she doesn’t go anywhere you might have to show papers. But of course people know Aila around Laanoha, so unless she’s somehow changed her appearance, someone somewhere might give her whereabouts away. But it’s only in Laanoha and Meyroha you need papers anyway. She won’t be in Meyroha, you can’t slip down the cracks there. My best guess is Barioha, but she might think that’s too obvious. She could be in any of the smaller towns.”

“And calling herself anything. That makes it pretty hard!”

“It makes it even harder for Jerem’s father’s man, if he exists.”

“I’m beginning to really hope he doesn’t exist. Or worse still, more than one of them.”

“I think there’s a very good chance he doesn’t exist, but you need to be wise to the possibility. But how can you afford to spend time looking for her? I can see by your outfit that Peyr was right, and that Graamon’s taken you on to work for the railway.”

“Graamon knows what’s happened, and says I just have to get on and find Aila, and not to worry about the job. He’s right behind me. In England they’d call it ‘indefinite paid leave’, and it would be a miracle, especially for someone as new in the job as me.”

“It’s not much short of a miracle here. Graamon must have a very high opinion of you. He’s a bit of a law unto himself, they can’t afford to upset him and he knows they know it.”

Birgom suddenly switched into English. “You know, I’d forgotten you were English. It’s amazing how much your Laana has improved. I was sort of conscious you were a foreigner in the back of my mind, but I’d quite forgotten about the language issue.”

“I hadn’t thought about it at first, then a little while ago I realized we were talking Laana, but didn’t want to say anything about it, other things seemed much more important.”

“Other things are much more important. We’ve got lots to talk about sometime, but now’s not the time.”

He switched back into Laana. “It’s probably best if we stick with Laana for the moment anyway. Even though your Laana is pretty good now, you need all the practice you can get – and in particular, there could be words or expressions related to your search that you don’t know and might need, that we’d not think of if we talk English.”

“I’m still wondering how I start looking, even if I’ve decided to look in a particular place. Just wandering the streets hoping to see her seems pretty hopeless.”

“Of course. There’ll obviously be some wandering the streets involved, but not just hoping to see her. You’ve got to try to work out how the place ticks, think where a young woman trying to earn a decent living would find herself, then watch there. Find out what time people come and go. And you’re going to have to do some asking, there’s no avoiding that. People will wonder what you’re doing, anyway. But you may want to be less conspicuous. You need some less fancy clothes and shoes. Your papers are enough to get you everywhere, you don’t want to look the part too. Get Judd to take you to the tailors, he’ll know what to ask for. Or Peyr.”

There was a soft knocking at the door. Birgom started to get up, then sat down again. “That sounds like Yaana’s knock to me. You let her in, Owen.”

It was Yaana, and Jinni too. Yaana started to get down onto the floor by the fire, but Birgom stopped her. “You sit in the chair, Yaana. The youngsters can sit on the floor! Get them a mug of skiir, Owen.”

I found some mugs on a shelf in the corner, and did as I was told.

Yaana had tears in her eyes. She started to try to say something, then gave up. Jinni took hold of her hand, and took over. “So. What’s the plan of action?”

“Did Gran tell you that Graamon’s given me paid leave for as long as it takes to find Aila? I’m going in search.”

“Yes, she told me. That’s one piece of very good news. But what’s the plan for the search?”

“We’ve barely begun to think about it. You can probably help us quite a lot. What would a young woman needing to earn a decent living in a strange place do? And how will she choose where to go?”

“The key word there is ‘decent’. She’s a pretty girl of a certain age. If she’s not careful, as soon as she appears the least bit lost in a strange place, there’ll be pimps watching her, ready to pounce. But she’s no fool, she knows that. She’d only have to beat one of them up to get them to leave her alone, and we know she can do that if she has to, but it would draw attention to her. She’ll do her level best never to appear lost. The easy way to do that would be to go straight to the fanciest house she could find and try to get a nannying job. If they didn’t need a nanny themselves, there’s a good chance they’d know who did. And she’s got a good reputation as a nanny.”

We’ll have to tell Jinni about Birgom’s worries about Jerem’s father. But we don’t want to say anything in front of Yaana. What to do?

Birgom was obviously having the same thought. “She doesn’t know the family aren’t blaming her. We think she’ll probably be using a false name, so she won’t be showing anyone her papers in the normal way of things.”

That’ll do for the moment. Jinni needs to know more when we get a chance, though. I think.

“If that’s true, that’ll make it much harder for her. Outside Laanoha and Meyroha, nobody would think about papers, but getting a nannying job under a false name would be hard, with no history and no connections. And anyway, you never know who knows whom or who visits whom among the rich. She’d be spotted by someone. She might still go straight to a fancy house, but she’d be looking for a cleaning or cooking job, not nannying. Or she might try to get a labouring or sweatshop job. But whatever she does, she’s got to find her way to the right place without looking lost while she’s finding her way, and that means asking someone. She’d ask the first reliable person she could find. If she arrived by railway, the innkeeper at the railway inn – but we’d soon know if she caught a lift with an engine driver, and she wouldn’t for that reason. Gran reckons she didn’t have enough money on her to get a coach or a passenger train, so unless she earnt some in Laanoha before she left, she either walked or got a cooking job on a boat. Unless she’s still somewhere in Laanoha, of course.”

“If she’s left Laanoha, she’ll have had to show her papers to a guard somewhere, won’t she?”

“Not necessarily. She wouldn’t be worried about us finding her that way – she knows we wouldn’t go asking the guards. But if she’s worried about Jerem or his family looking for her, and I think she would be, she’d know they’d be quite capable of asking guards. It’s not so hard to get in and out of Laanoha without, though. Under the floor of an engine isn’t the only way!”

“So you think it’s likely she got a job on a boat?”

“I’d say it’s about equally likely she did that, or got a job in Laanoha for a little while, and then got a coach. But I think if she got a coach, she probably caught it in Kromaan, not Laanoha. There have been a couple of foggy days recently, and on a foggy day at low tide you can walk round the point and along the riverside below the quays to get to the ferry without the guards even seeing you.”

Birgom seized on that quickly. “That’s an idea worth following up, Jinni. Good thinking. The coach drivers would probably remember an unfamiliar girl catching a coach in Kromaan on a foggy morning. Especially one with muddy boots. And there’s no harm asking the coach drivers, it’s not like asking guards.”

“She wouldn’t have muddy boots, Birgom! She’d wash it off before she even got to the ferry. I bet you would, Owen, wouldn’t you!”

“If I thought of it, certainly. But I might not think. I guess you’re right that Aila would, though.”

Up to this time, Yaana had said not a word, but had gradually been looking a little brighter. “You’re sure she’s okay, Birgom?”

“Oh, we’d have heard by now if she’d beaten up a pimp, Yaana!”

I hope Jinni’s right about that. I can imagine pimps being less easy to beat up than Jerem – and quite likely to be carrying knives, too. But Jinni’s probably right that Aila would try very hard to avoid situations like that. Even when running away in a state of desperation.

“If she went by coach after earning some money, she’s likely to have gone very recently. It was foggy three days ago, and before that the last foggy day was probably too soon after she went missing. I’d say it’s worth chasing that one as soon as you can. Tomorrow morning first thing, get the first train to Kromaan. If she got a job on a boat, she went more than three weeks ago, it won’t make any difference leaving that a few more days.”

“I’ll do that. If she went by boat, what can I possibly do to trace her?”

“I’m pretty sure she won’t have wanted to go far. She won’t have wanted to go anywhere where she doesn’t know the language. So it would only be a coaster or a riverboat – and there’s not a lot of casual work on riverboats, so it’s really just a coaster. I don’t think there’d be much point asking on the boats themselves, but she’d have landed at one of the ports. She’d have enquired about work in the town at the port office.”

I was beginning to feel this wasn’t an impossible quest after all. We talked things over for another hour or so, and then Birgom suggested that I should go and get Judd help me to get some different clothes.

“They won’t be ready for a few days though, will they? I can’t get a tailor to make me things in an afternoon!”

“Oh, goodness. People like Judd, or the man you’re trying to look like, don’t get things tailored to fit – not in Laanoha. It’ll be ready made, you’ll pick it up on the spot.”

“Gran and I’ll come with you to the railway yard, Owen. Then we’ll go home and you follow as soon as you’ve got an outfit.”

“Thank you so much for your help, Birgom. You can’t imagine how much I appreciate it.”

“Yaana knows I’d do anything for Aila. I wish there was more I could do.”

Judd started to take me to the place where he got his own clothes, and then stopped. “You don’t want to look like a workshop man on a day off, or a driver. It’s probably best if you don’t look like a railway man at all. You need to look so ordinary that no-one will wonder who you are and what you’re doing – not rich, but not the kind of person who’s tied to a rota that you’re obviously missing. I know where we should go. I think they’ll bill the railway okay if you show them your papers.”

We headed up towards the Castle, an area of town I’d never been in before, although I roughly remembered the layout I’d seen looking back from the top of the headland when I went up there with Aila, the day we’d realized we belonged to each other. It seemed so long ago.

There was a street of shops unlike any in the parts of town I knew. They didn’t have open fronts, they had rows of glass windows, many of them bow-fronted, and glazed double doors. Judd took me into one of them. Inside the front doors there was a small lobby with a matting floor, then another pair of double doors before we got into the shop. It was warm inside, more like a home than a business. A smartly dressed young woman took our coats, and disappeared with them into a door marked Private. She returned a moment later and stood beside the door where she’d been when we arrived.

I realized Judd was as lost as I was. The young woman obviously realized the same thing at the same moment. She approached us again. “Can I help? You don’t seem to know where to go.”

“We need smart casual clothes for Owen here. Nothing too smart, he doesn’t want to look out of place anywhere, really.”

“Ebi floor. Just ring the bell on the counter when you get there if there’s no-one around. There are the stairs.” She pointed to the stairs, which were plainly visible anyway. They were carpeted – the first carpets I’d seen since I left England. It wasn’t until I noticed the carpets than I noticed the rest of the floor in the shop – the same unslippery shiny smooth finish I’d seen at Siroha.

There were more oil lamps than I’d ever seen in one place before. Each had its own glass chimney that disappeared into a hole in the ceiling.

A man met us at the top of the stairs. He was wearing a collarless grey suit that wouldn’t have looked out of place on a teacher in an expensive school in London. He had a tape measure round the back of his neck, dangling down the front of his jacket. “For you, young man? I heard what you wanted. You’re a Railway man, by the look of you, but I don’t know you, so I hope you won’t be offended if I ask to see your papers?”

“Of course, no problem.” I showed them to him.

“Mezhab Owen? You’re not related to Birgom, are you?”

“No, it’s a coincidence. But I do know him.”

“I should think everybody on the railway knows him – all the Laanoha railwaymen, anyway. You’re not from Laanoha, though, I can tell that. But let’s see what you need, anyway.”

An hour later when we came out of the shop, I was wearing a new outfit – plain loose-legged trousers, a loose shirt that covered me halfway down my thighs, and a long warm overcoat buttoned up to my throat. I had a new rucksack, bigger then the one Judd had lent me but not as big as my English one, with my railway outfit, two spare shirts and a spare pair of trousers in it.

Halfway down the hill, Judd suddenly laughed. “Blimey. I wish I had papers like those. He didn’t even ask you how many of everything you wanted! And he’s done exactly what’s needed. You could be any middle-class gent on holiday. A teacher, a middle-ranking bureaucrat – almost anything. But not rich, not Railway, and not a working man who’d attract attention if he seemed to be away from his work too much. Spot on.”

“I wonder how he knows Birgom?”

“I’ve seen him before. I think he lives somewhere down near Birgom.”

“It’s odd to think of someone like him living down there. Somehow I’d imagined he’d live somewhere round here.”

“Oh, in a job like his he couldn’t afford to live round here. These shops aren’t like the shops in our part of town, where the shopkeeper is the owner and lives over his shop. The people who work in these shops don’t get paid very well at all, and the owners are rich. They live in posh houses, some further up right under the Castle, maybe some over on the point. You’ll have seen the posh houses over there?”

“Yes, Aila took me up there. Ages ago. How much of the railway’s money do you think we just spent?”

“I really don’t know. Maybe two hundred and fifty coins, maybe three hundred, but I’ve never bought that kind of clothes. A lot less than your proper railway clothes, anyway.”

“Do you have to buy your own clothes?”

“Well, I’d have to if I wanted to wear anything other than workshop clothes. But I just wear work clothes all the time, like most people do, so the railway buys them for me. But I know what they cost.”

We walked together as far as my street, then Judd went down towards the railway yard, and I turned the other way to go home. Home? Is this home, or is Viina’s place home? Both. But I’m a paying guest here now. That’s good in some ways, but I think I preferred it when I paid my way by helping Yaana. No time for that now, though.

Yaana and Jinni had already had a late lunch by the time I arrived. “Yours is cold, I’m afraid. I’ll reheat it. Peyr won’t be long now. I wish we could hear the whistles from here, but we can’t. Well, you can if you open the south window, but in this weather you don’t want to have that open all the time.”

I looked out of the window. It had started to snow. Jinni had noticed, too. “Did it snow down here while we were stuck up in Briggi, Gran?”

“A bit, but it only settled overnight a couple of times. It was raining a lot. They said the line was a bit iffy through the mountains for a day or two. They were running short trains and triple heading up the escarpment for a couple of days, but no-one got stuck.”

I gave Yaana the two fives Maarim had said were for my accommodation. I felt a bit mean. I knew it was much less than the railway would pay the inn if I stayed there, but Yaana seemed pleased enough. “We don’t really expect anything, you’re family. But if they give you this for us, we’ll not refuse it!”

If I’m family, I should pay my share of the rent and the housekeeping like everybody else. But they won’t want to take it, and I don’t want to argue with anyone over it. Difficult. But I won’t be here all that long or all that often any more.

It was probably about an hour later that Peyr and Judd arrived. I could tell by Peyr’s face that Judd had already told him. “What can I say?” he said as they sat down.

Jinni gave them each a mug of warm skiir without a word. We all sat in silence for some time, then Jinni reached out, put her hand on Peyr’s forearm, and squeezed gently. “She’ll be fine. Owen’ll find her, and all will be well.”

“I hope you’re right, Jinni. I hope you’re right.”

I hope she’s right, too, I thought, but I didn’t say anything.

After a while Peyr pulled himself upright in his chair resolutely. “Well, Owen, unless your plans have changed since what Judd told me, you want to catch Faahiha’s train at four tomorrow morning. It’s a bit early, you’ll be hanging around freezing in Kromaan for a couple of hours, but the next train misses the first coaches, and you’ll want to talk to as many coach drivers as you can. I’m free for the next couple of days, of course, I could come with you, but it’s probably better if you’re on your own really. Nobody will know it’s Aila you’re looking for, whereas someone might put two and two together if I’m with you. And don’t forget, you’ll be catching Faahiha’s train in the yard, not by the line side, and you won’t have to hide under the floor!”

Everybody laughed, but it didn’t last long.

He went on, “And coming back, it’s best if you get the coach into Laanoha from wherever you end up, unless you’re actually at a station. It’s one thing stopping a train to drop someone off, or picking someone up who you know is going to be there. It’s another stopping for someone you weren’t expecting. Some drivers might stop, some won’t, and nobody will be impressed if they think you stopped them for no good reason. You won’t know when you want to come back until you’re on your way, so they can’t be expecting you. You’ll have to pay for coaches, the railway doesn’t have arrangements with the coach drivers.”

I felt a little hurt for a moment, but realized Peyr knew I needed to know.

Yaana asked me how much money I’d got, then gave me the two fives back. “We don’t need these, and you might. That’s my grand-daughter you’re rescuing.”

And my fiancée, but she’s right. I might need more than fifty coins, I’ve no idea.

Grim and Yaani arrived just as it was getting dark. Judd filled them in on the day’s events while Jinni and Yaana served out steaming bowls of fish and vegetable stew. I’d scarcely even been aware that they’d been making it.

Peyr was nodding as Judd spoke, then he turned to me. “Graamon must have told you about Baam, since it’s Biiniha’s old room you’ve got. You could go and introduce yourself to Baam, if you need any help in Barioha any time. You might never go there, and if you do, it seems quite likely you’ll be back here at least once first, but in case you’re not, I’ll describe how to get to his place for you.”

It wasn’t straightforward, so I got my notebook and pencil out of my rucksack, and got him to repeat it while I took notes. I realized later that I’d written them in a mixture of Laana and English – Laana for things Peyr had actually said, such as street names, and English for my own explanations.

“Are you sure he wouldn’t mind? Do you know him, or just know about him from Graamon?”

“Oh, we all know Baam quite well. He’s been going up to Briggi three or four times a year for years. He nearly always goes by goods train – Graamon’s best friends mostly do. You can tell him everything, and he’ll be very willing to help. If Aila’s in Barioha, Biiniha could be very useful too. She could go places you couldn’t.”

As soon as we’d finished eating, Jinni excused herself. “I really ought to go and see Mum. She’ll have heard I’m back. She’d understand me spending last night at Parruk’s, of course, but she’ll be wondering where I’ve got to by now. I might see you in the morning, Owen, but in case I don’t – good luck!”

She gave me a kiss on the cheek, pressed something into my hand, and was gone.

It was a little packet with five fives in it.

We didn’t talk late into the night. Everyone was tired and I had to be off to the railway yard not long after three in the morning. I didn’t get to sleep very quickly though, thinking about all the things I didn’t know but probably needed to. I know a lot more now than I did when I landed at Sirimi. But that thought didn’t help much.

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